Soulmate, a simple word but carrying thousands of expectations on its shoulders. As I write about it, a movie is coming on my little mind’s slate, “Dil toh Pagal Hai”. During my childhood, I loved that movie and I still like watching it whenever I am extra-ordinarily free. But now, it quite resembles a retro-fantasy drama revolving over an innocent topic. As a child, I imagined my life would unfold just like a Bollywood movie. I thought some background music or whistle will blow on my soulmate’s arrival though now I know love only comes with time.
Childhood days flew with time. And life started happening. School boys wearing half pants transformed to men in tuxedos and we, the school girls in short skirts, transformed to a lady taking at least an hour to decide “What to wear today?”. And slyly, the two transformed world started getting attracted towards each other to find some traits of understanding, affection and care. I did the same. I remember texting a friend over Facebook. I remember how our talk shifted from usual leg-pulling to discussing about our problems and aspirations. We all love when someone listens to us. After texting him, I felt lighter and strangely happy. And my heart said, “Checkmate”.
Over the time, we realized it was just a fling as we’re both looking for a “Listener”. And I came to know that’s the first quality I see within the word “Soulmate”. After a while, I met Tara, my roommate during college. With each passing day, with each late night talks and with each talk-over-tea, we realized how much we’re alike. I liked her innocence and honesty. We became friends, actually, best friends. Thinking of her right now, I smile over the fact that she’s my secret keeper. And then one night, I added something to the list of traits’ of my soulmate, “Honesty”. College days ended like a sweet morning dream where you’re forced to wake up.
I shifted to a new city after my college to join an IT firm. It appeared difficult at first but slowly, I got used to my office schedule and created new bonds of friend circle around my little world. With time, my new flat started getting busy. My flatmates got busy with their lives and I kept struggling with mine. Some days, when I returned to the flat and nobody was home yet, I confronted emptiness. There was no one to ask me about my day or even a simple question like “How are you?”. Mom was always an option but with years she got diabetes and then, blood pressure. In short, she started getting old. To tell her about my immature anxieties felt like gifting her extra sugar and salt which in long run, would only ruin her health. And then I realized, I was seeking affection, in another words, someone to care. I immediately, wrote this on the list as well.
One day, I got late working in office. I asked my friend, Chirag, to drop me, as we live in the same society. He’s such a fun loving and simple guy. I clearly remember events from my office life where he had lightened up my gloomy day with his light humored talk. On that day, we stopped at a street stall to have tea. Over the piping hot glass of tea, we started joking about our lives and situations. We discussed mature topics with humor like everything in our lives isn’t as tough as we once thought it was. I enjoyed the tea as well as time spent with him. Once back to flat, I opened the list and jolted down “Humor”.
Now, when I look at my list, I feel overwhelmed. Deep down, I know soulmate exists. But I also know they’re one of us hence, to expect everything to be perfect like my list, is an illusion. I understand, soulmate is someone everyone needs but never find. I understand my soulmate can’t be forged by the four words in my list. Still, I won’t stop finding the right things around me, so that when I meet him I have gathered all good things to tell him that ever happened to me.
Someone great once said,